I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think my tv is drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
