In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
