He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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