I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
