we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
