I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
