I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
