Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
