he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
