i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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