That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
high people should be assigned attendants
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
