sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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