I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
