goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
