So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
