so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
