What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
