I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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