real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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