my shit smells like andre
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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