we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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