So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
