she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
