Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
