hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
