i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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