there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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