Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
