if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
