apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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