I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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