Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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