Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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