I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
