I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
