I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
