he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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