conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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