Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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