There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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