Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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