i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
