big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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