I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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