If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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