ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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