he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
