My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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