Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
