I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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